Oh, the life of someone who can only think in movie quotes

I'm still here

2007-01-21T07:40:00.000-08:00

I had this really nice long post about the weather earlier this week but when I went to spell check it, it disappeared. I was not about to redo it. I haven't been posting lately, can't do it at work, and by the time I get home its about the last thing I want to do. Plus, all the good TV shows have started.

So, you ask, what have I been doing with my time. Well, not much really. I have been working. I have been watching football. I have been watching TV. There, that's what I've been off doing. Yep, its true. Its been hard to get out and do anything with the weather lately. I did wake up to sunshine this morning. I guess that means I'll have to do something. Dogs probably need a walk. I probably need a walk.

So, there it is. About the most exciting thing going on right now, is that I am waiting for my W-2s. Oh, the fun-filled excitement.

What the ?

2007-01-06T20:26:00.000-08:00

Anyone want to join the I Hate Tony Romo club? How does a guy who can't hold onto the ball get picked to hold the snap for a field goal? Beats me. Then again, I am not a coach and maybe I just don't understand. Jackass!

Funerals and football

2007-01-01T17:37:00.000-08:00

I spent this weekend watching football and funerals. Ok well I did make it through the first season of Grey's Anatomy and two episodes into the second as well. Not only funerals but an execution. Well, I didn't see the execution, but I did spend time watching the coverage. Made me feel a little sick to my stomach. It is very strange to see someone seconds before they die. Not something you experience every day.

I liked what Al Sharpton said at James Brown's funeral. There is something about his style that I like. I find it hard to watch little old widow ladies burying their husbands after 58 years of marriage. It has been great getting to hear about Gerald Ford. He seemed like a cool guy.

I'd have to say that I enjoyed the funerals more than the football. Seems like most of my teams lost. Not that I would like more people to die or generally like funerals, but it would be nice if my teams starting playing better. James Brown sure does know how to throw a party.

Anyway, Happy New Year everyone or anyone that happens along the way here.

What a difference a year makes!

2006-12-26T16:54:00.000-08:00

When I started thinking about this a few days ago, I can't believe how much my life has changed over this past year. This is a great revelation. I just think back to where I was at this time last year. This time last year, well just about this time, I decided to escape. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I only wish I had done it sooner, well, and not ever gotten into the relationship in the first place. I knew three weeks in it was a bad idea. I had my reasons and I accepted it. I now know that I don't have to accept anything I don't want, need, or deserve. Ahh, I do love my freedom. I think I am still getting used to it after all this time too.

Of course, not only did I make my escape, I have moved half way across the country. Well, now, isn't that just crazy...Couldn't have made a better decision. My life is good right now. I have a good job and am making more money. I have met a ton of incredibly interesting people at work. Of course it remains to be seen if I can actually do the job. I am going to do my best and hey if it doesn't work for me, then it doesn't.

So, now I am working on paying some of my bills down. Still making my mortgage payments but am hopeful that my home will sell early in the new year.

It is such a difference to live in a supportive environment. I hadn't had that in a long time. My dog has a playmate. My two younger cats are having a ball. My oldest cat dreams of having her own home again someday but she is adjusting slowly but surely.

Every day when I get home from work, my stepdad has made yet another delicious dinner. Who could ask for anything more?

Well, I still do want that million dollars...

Happy holidays

2006-12-23T15:54:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd pop in and say a happy holidays to everyone out there in Bloggerland. Or is it Bloggerville? Anyway, I don't have to go back to work until Wednesday, woohoo! So, I am going to spend the holidays with my family. Hope you all get to see your family and friends for the holidays and have a great holiday season.

Oh, yeah, and I hope that Santa or Channukah Harry or whomever else you might believe in brings you whatever you have asked for!

Made it through the wilderness

2006-12-15T21:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through my first two weeks of training! Woohoo! So, I leave the classroom behind to get into a cubicle, (yea, my very first one!) on Monday. I will have two more weeks of hands on training but will actually be doing some real work on Monday. The sad part for me is that after the next two weeks all of us will be split up and go into different teams possibly on different campuses. I have to tell you that I've met some of the most interesting people I have met in a long time. What a great group of people! I am going to miss them!

Today I had my final test plus my final role play. I traded up on my drawn number to go second instead of seventh. Boy I am glad about that because I would have to go on Monday. I can enjoy my weekend without having to worry about it.

Ok, but the best part was today when I actually received my first paycheck. Biggest single paycheck I've received for a job so I feel like I am getting back on track with my finances. Sigh...

I am going to a party at my friend Brian's house tomorrow and am sure I'll have a great time. It is going to be near 80 for the next two days. I am hoping to fit in a bike ride if its not too windy. Bike riding in December? Yes, you heard me correctly. Isn't that sweet! I may go see a movie with a coworker on Sunday. My stepdad and I are going to try to put up some Xmas lights tomorrow. Really looking forward to that.

Hopefully not sitting in a classroom 8 hours a day will help me to not feel so tired all the time, so I am hoping that Monica was right about that one.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing alright. Have a great weekend!

Four reasons not to date someone no matter how attractive they are...

2006-12-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about this post for a while and just thought I'd put it down on...paper, errr, ummm, whatever this is. I was out with a friend a couple of weeks ago when a very attractive guy came up and started talking to us. I guess we were being too loud while watching the Stars game. He was friendly enough but almost immediately started to share way too much information. I guess this is how it happens for me. I don't get hit on very often and when I do, I guess this is how it goes for me. Here are my four reasons...

1. He starts out by telling us that he was kicked out of a hockey league for beating up a ref. Who does that? Then he explains to us that he was really mad at his coach but the ref was closer. Can you say serious anger management issues?

2. He and his brother breed pit bulls. I don't necessarily have a problem with the breed and in fact my dog has had a few pit bull friends, but what is it with guys and pit bulls? Not sure why guys feel macho about having them.

3. His brother uses an AK-47 to train them. Ok, he doesn't shoot them, but teaches them to fear the gun. It would work with me. Gee, what about this doesn't sound stable?

Here is the kicker.

4. He is bi-sexual. I guess it is never safe to tease a guy who is hitting on a girl about digging other men. I dunno, I prefer men who only like women. Call me picky.

It was really an adventure. Maybe this is what men are like in Texas? Nah, I doubt that. It was really fun because I hadn't seen this friend in over ten years and it was a great experience for us. We can always say, "Hey, remember anger management guy?!" We'll always have Paris.

Tired

2006-12-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

I am not evening working. I just sit in a training all day and I am exhausted by the time to go home. Right now I feel like I am about to fall asleep right here. Of course when its time to go to sleep I won't be able to fall asleep. Oh well. Just wanted to post something so you didn't think I was dead. I don't know maybe I am so tired because I actually have to pay attention all day long. You'd think this would be the somewhat easy part.

Hope all is well with everyone else. I haven't been keeping up on your blogs this week and will try to read some this weekend.

Think Snow!

2006-11-29T12:26:00.000-08:00

During the winter my elementary school principal, Mrs. Russell, would end announcements with "Think Snow!" I am hoping and wishing and hoping and wishing for some snow tonight with our storm!

I want my free taco

2006-11-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

Part of the fun of attending a Dallas Stars hockey game is the chance to get a free taco from Taco Bueno. At least it used to be. When Dallas scored their third goal in the first period on Friday night, we went ballistic. Not only were we winning by three, but the thought of having an excuse to go to Bueno and get a free taco made us downright giddy. After the third goal, there was no mention of said free taco. We kinda forgot about it then after the game ended, we won 5-3, we made our way out of the arena. There were no ushers at the doors handing out our taco coupons! We were shocked. Maybe last year they had to give away too many free tacos with the rule changes and Bueno lost too much money handing out the 49 cent tacos. Who knows. Of course, Bueno still has the signs up at the restaurants saying one coupon per customer per visit.

Bummer. You wouldn't believe how happy I can get about getting anything free. I was able to procure a free refrigerator magnet with the Stars schedule on it. At least this way I can try to make plans on getting the tickets for the Redwings game next year. They gave us free programs at the end too. I guess I don't have too much to complain about.

Back in the land of the employed!

2006-11-22T12:56:00.000-08:00

Well...It's finally happened. I got a job!!!! I signed up with a temp agency Friday, had an appt Monday with the agency, an interview Tuesday, a second interview today and I got the job. Its a departure from what I've been doing, I'll be an enrollment counselor at the University of Phoenix. I'll be helping people who are interested in becoming students make it happen. I start on the 4th and will have 4 weeks of training so I am looking forward to seeing how I'll do with it. They thought I had good energy and was quirky! Who knew quirky was a good trait to get a job? Oh, well, wooohoooo!

Go Blue!

2006-11-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Well, the big game is tomorrow afternoon, starting at 2:30 pm CST. I haven't been this excited about a college game in a while, plus there is so much riding on it. #1 playing #2, can't beat that!

Sad news though, Bo Schembechler died today. He was a jerk, but was very important to both the University of Michigan as a coach and Ohio State as a player.

The game will be on ABC, but I guess that depends on the area you live in. I hope anyone who might read this gets a chance to catch the game. I am sure it won't disappoint!

Gotta Love Emmitt

2006-11-15T22:28:00.000-08:00

I watched the last two episodes with my folks and was really pulling for Emmitt. Was very excited when he won. It's great for a big guy like that to win. Anyway, congrats Emmitt. You make Dallas proud!

This is unreal

2006-11-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

It's 12:30 am and it's still in the 70s! Ugh, I hate trying to sleep when it's warm. I think there is only one day of above average heat. Looks like I'll get a chance for another bike ride tomorrow. Spoke with a friend in Oregon earlier and it has rained so much whole roads have been flooded out and there was an earthquake near Portland. Craziness!

Anyone seen the trailer for Stranger Than Fiction? I saw it several months ago at the movie theater and was excited about it. Now that it's going to be in the theaters this weekend, I think I'll go see it.

Holy Shamoly!

2006-11-07T20:52:00.000-08:00

It's going to be 84 tomorrow! I think that sounds like prime bike riding weather. I'd be swimming if I was still in Oregon!

Woohoo! Maybe I'll even take off the training wheels just this once...

Nothing

2006-11-06T17:46:00.000-08:00

I really don't have much to say lately. Expect a few tasty margaritas and all the Tex-Mex a girl can handle. I'll probably have more to say as time passes.

Don't forget to vote tomorrow.

Alive and Kicking

2006-10-31T21:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it. I am still exhausted after being here for three days. I am not fully settled but working on it. Now, if I can only find a job. That would make life easier.

Hitting the Road, Jack

2006-10-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

Turning off my internet and cable tomorrow so I won't be on here til the weekend. Have a great week everyone!

Animal Kingdom

2006-10-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

First it was a possum, then at least 6 baby possums, then a tree frog living in my hot tub. Recently, I've noticed a nutria running around in the backyard until my dog scares it off. But last night, I was visited by a skunk! I couldn't believe it. I am not in the country, I am not even all that close to the water but I guess close enough for the nutria. I made sure that my dog stayed in all night. I could just imagine the dog getting sprayed. That would have been fun. It didn't seem all that big but it high-tailed it pretty quick after the barking started. I wonder if he'll stop back by before I go.

One week and counting

2006-10-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

This time next week I'll be on the road for my move back to Texas. I have accomplished a lot so far but still have stuff left to do before I go. My house still hasn't sold, no one is interested, the bastards. A little packing left to do, a few services to cancel and then I'll be ready. I feel mostly ready, I guess that's like mostly dead.

Ethical dilema

2006-10-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, maybe it has nothing to do with ethics but I don't know what to do. One of my fish is dying. He's laying on the bottom of the tank. Do I put him out of his mysery or do I just let him die naturally? I feel bad watching him lying there. He'll probably die before anyone answers this but I just don't know what to do.

I'm very lucky

2006-10-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

I just want to let everyone know just how lucky I am. I have a great family. Just wanted to let everyone know. That's all I have to say about that.

SWEEEEEP!

2006-10-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

Walk off home run, 2 out in the bottom of the ninth sends the Tigers back to the World Series! I screamed so loud I am surprised that my neighbors didn't call the police. They are probably used to it by now though. I am not sure that's a good thing. The Tigers pitching wasn't as dominate today but they got the job done. I couldn't be more proud. Grrrr-eat day!

Why is it?

2006-10-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

Why is it that conspiracy theorists and end of the world-type believers think they are so much smarter than everyone else? Like the rest of us regular guys are so stupid that we just don't know what's going on in the world. I actually met a guy today, granted he is in treatment because he won't stop using marijuana after being arrested for delivery in 2001, that really, honestly thinks he is smarter than everyone else. He reported that he dropped out of high school because he was so bored. Then, somehow after he left he was tested and it was discovered that he was just really smart and not stimulated enough in school. I am not sure which of his drug-addicted parents set up the testing for him for this conclusion but I find it hard to believe. He tells me that he has been researching the end of the world and all the mysteries of life for the past five years. He has put together all of the puzzle pieces and has it all figured out. He even says that he took his findings to several pastors who were forced to admit that he was onto something.

Tell me, what is this I'm better and smarter than you are attitude come from? He is not the only person like this I've met. Am I really so stupid and blind and don't see what really goes on in the world. Is there a correlation between dropping out of high school and believing in conspiracy theories and thinking you are better than everyone else.

I don't know, I just think it's amusing that a guy who has been unable to get off probation in a 5 year period thinks he is just more enlightened than the rest of us. If he was so smart, he would be off smoking pot, and not on probation. He was a month away from completing his 2 year probation in 2004. Weird. Also, another thing I've noticed is that both people I have met like this have issues with anger.

I tell you what, these people are truly fascinating...until they begin sounding like a broken record. That doesn't take too long.

Underdog, Schmunderdog

2006-10-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

All I heard was how the Tigers had no chance. Well, after the last three games I think some people may have a new tune.

Oh, yeah, and Go Blue! Hookem Horns!

The last day

2006-10-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

I've been covering the gambling helpline for two weeks now and this is my last day to do it. You would not believe how incredibly boring it has been. So, you ask, what have I been doing with my time? I've been reading every blog of a blog of a blog. I really only know two people here in Blogotopia. One hasn't posted since July so she doesn't really count right now. But I do know Newwavegurly quite well. I look at her blog several times a day waiting for a new post. She has been nice enough to post some of the blogs that she reads regularly on her site. I've been reading a few of her friends for a while now, but not that many. Being as bored as I've been, I've looked at all of her friend's blogs. Not saying that they are only good reading when you are really bored but hey I just don't sit around reading blogs all day normally. So, I ran out of new posts on her friend's blogs last week. I started to read friends of her friend's blogs. Then after I did that, I read friends of her friends of her friend's blogs. Yesterday I ended up at some guys blog from someone else's blog that I have no idea who they are and discovered this guy was quite popular. This guy was consitently getting around 50 comments on his blog! Now, I regularly read blogs from people who are quite talented who as far as I can tell have not approached that number. I was shocked. So, I looked through this person's blog and it was nothing special. I have to wonder if this person just knows a lot of people in real life and they all comment every time they read it.
I start thinking, my god, about three or four people read my blog and I get occasional comments. I read several blogs that I only comment on occasion. Doesn't mean I am not there. So, if 50 people are commenting, then how many lurkers are out there?
Also have to wonder what people think about a complete stranger posting on their site. I've been posting on a blog for several months and the person has never answered a question or responded to me like they do to others. Makes me wonder. I guess I'll figure out this blogging thing as I go.

A great opening night

2006-10-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last night the NHL season opened with a great come from behind win by the Dallas Stars. Watching the first two periods I was not feeling very good about the upcoming season for them. I was very surprised at how they came out and played in the third period. They scored two back to back goals seconds apart and were back in the game in no time flat. They kept pounding the Avs net but were unable to score any other goals in regulation. A few minutes into overtime, after killing a penalty, Turco found Sydor wide open coming out of the box. Breakaway! He shoots, he scores! It's always great to come from behind and win and especially more so against the Avs. Now I'll wait to see how my new look Redwings look. It will be hard without Yzerman anymore.

OH, and by the way. Go Tigers!

Put me in coach

2006-10-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that I am very excited about the baseball playoffs starting yesterday. Although my Tigers lost, I am still very proud of them for having such a great turn-around year. I would have never thought that it was possible. I guess that is what happens when you get one of the best coaches around. I am still hoping that they can pull off the series or at least win a few games.

I must say that I am very excited that The Big Hurt had such a great day yesterday. I always like it when older players are doing well. Just look at Julio Franco...He's still playing in the majors at 48, knocking the ball around. He was playing for the Rangers when I was growing up. How cool is that?

I know most people think that baseball is boring but I can't help but still love it. There is nothing better than going to the park for a game. Eating hotdogs, then nachos, then some cotton candy, then maybe another hotdog...Ok maybe not a second hotdog. I haven't been to a game in a while and look forward to going to some Rangers games next spring. But until then, GO TIGERS!!!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2006-10-02T16:55:00.000-07:00

Already told ya HAPPY BIRTHDAY, but thought I might try a post to get a few more well-wishings for you. Of course now that I said that, no one will read it! Don't take it personally...I am just not that interesting. I think we should do a trip to The Grand Hotel for your birthday in the next couple years but do it in the summer so we can rent a convertible!

Brother, can you spare a dime?

2006-09-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

Or sister in my case. One of the things that drives me crazy about the area that I live in is the fact that there is someone standing of every street corner with a sign asking for money. Being the social worker that I am and the alcohol and drug counselor that I am, I know where the money goes. I don't EVER give ANYONE money. I even saw a guy holding a sign in front of Taco Bell a few weeks ago. I mean come on. Last week a women had the balls, yes I said balls, to knock on my door and ask for money to help her baby that just got out of the hospital by giving her money to get antibiotics. First of all, I am a social worker, and I know that if this poor woman really has said baby, that baby is on what is called OHP, the Oregon Health Plan. It would be free. Plus, I can't imagine a hospital releasing a baby without giving it antibiotics. AND, there are organizations that can help with prescriptions. She knocked on the wrong door. Of course, I didn't say all that, I told her I was unemployed and closed the door.

You ask why this is allowed to happen here. Well, first of all, they refuse to make panhandling illegal. They allow runaways to live on the streets. You would not believe the downtown area for such a small town. Kids hanging out in front of the library that they spent millions on at all hours of the day and night. Most people don't want to go downtown because of the population that is allowed to hang out there. Can you imagine teenagers being allowed to live on the streets? No one does a damn thing but say it's their right to do so. I've had clients that were living on the streets here at as young as 8 or 9. I don't mean living with friends, I mean actually living on the streets. Ridiculous!

So, why am I ranting about this today? Let's go back to the panhandlers on every street corner. You should see it during summer, they are on all street corners not just major roads. Anyway, there was a homeless guy on the news the other night that stated that he made between $50 and $75 a day begging! I do see people give money but I had no idea it was that much. I've actually seen people giving money to guys on the corner who have beer in hand. I'd rather someone broke into my house and stole my stuff than give a handout to someone on the corner. I am thinking about making a sign saying "Out of work social worker, Please HELP!" Do you think it would work? It would around here.

Me and the hotline

2006-09-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

I am filling in for the next two weeks while the regular hotline lady is in trainings. I just can't believe they pay someone full time to sit here and answer the phone. Of course, as I am saying this I am probably going to jinx the whole situation and the phone will start ringing off the hook. Today is the third day I've worked here this week and I actually had calls that first day, but the last two days (so far) I've received two calls.

Now, you may be asking what kind of hotline is this that no one calls. Well this nice hotline is paid for by the Oregon lottery for problem gamblers. The first call I received was from a lady looking for scratch off ticket info about some tickets by those motorcycle guys, I don't know they're names, but they build them, that's all I know. She wanted to know what location near her has these tickets for her grandson who has some sort of health problem, or something or other. I kinda stopped listening as I tried very hard to give her the Oregon Lottery Commission number. The other call I received was a guy who had questions about online betting that he saw on TV. I know nothing about this and told the guy. Yesterday I had a guy who didn't speak English very well trying to make reservations at Bally's.

You have to wonder how these numbers are advertised. Most calls aren't problem gamblers. They are gamblers looking for the winning lottery numbers or have questions about certain games.

It's very strange to me. I work in other offices in this agency in the alcohol and drug field and their phones are ringing off the hook with clients. And the gambling counselors that work here work 50-60 hours a week. Just doesn't seem fair to me. Plus, how do they not pull out their hair due to boredom. I guess they do slightly more stuff than I do since they actually work here full time, but it can't be all that much.

I am not really complaining, this just all seems weird to me. This has come along at a good time for me because making money is good and it will help with my upcoming move. I would go crazy if this were my job. Hey, no comment on that one.

Terrell Owens yet again

2006-09-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

My fantasy football team name is TheresnoTOlikenoTO. I didn't mean it literally. I hope that he is doing alright and maybe it was all a big misunderstanding. If it's really what happened, all I have to say is that maybe all that has happened with him over the last year or so has taken more of a toll than you'd think. He seems like the kind of guy who never admits fault, places all blame on others, and generally just doesn't care about others. Maybe he really isn't like this at all. Maybe he acts out because he is in pain. I don't know. This is a new feeling about TO for me. Not once have I ever felt sorry for him. I sure do now.

Need some good, positive vibes sent my way

2006-09-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

I had my second open house today which no one showed up to. I have had no one look at my house yet. I am planning on moving the weekend of October 27th no matter what, but boy it sure would be easier to move if I had some money to do it with. Please send me all your happy thoughts so someone will come along and buy my house.

Everything is Illuminated

2006-09-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you've heard of this movie, but it is well worth checking out. It's Liev Schreiber's directorial debut and stars Elijah Wood. Elijah's character is a Jewish American who goes back to the Ukraine to learn more about his grandfather's life in Ukraine. His grandfather left shortly before the town he lived in was invaded by the Germans in WWII. There is a great performance by Eugene Hutz that is worth seeing the movie alone. It is fantastically funny and moving at the same time.

I've been thinking about it since I saw it and just wanted to share this with anyone who might read my blog.

Goodbye to the coolest lady in politics!

2006-09-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, passed away today. She was a woman I admired very much. She was tough as nails, honest about her history of alcoholism, and was just really damn cool.

September 11, 2001

2006-09-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

I have to say that it has never made me mad. In a way I can understand how and why it happened. I was not surprised because I knew that Americans were disliked around the world. Yes, it was shocking how it happened but not that it did happen. Just imagine that you were raised to hate something so much with all of your being. That is what it was like for these men. They did what they were taught to do. You can't say that if you weren't raised in the same way, to believe things were a certain way, that this couldn't be you. Of course, I am not saying it's Ok, just saying that I can see how it could happen.

To this day, it is still heart-breaking for me. The hardest for me is the people on the plans knowing they were going to die. I just can't imagine that terror of flying into the towers or hitting the Pentagon or crashing in Pennsylvania. For the people who jumped to their deaths instead of burning alive. What a horrific choice that would be. If you get a chance to see the Documentary On Native Soil about the 9/11 commission report. The hardest thing about this whole thing is that only one person, one man, admitted to making a mistake. How can this be? How hard is it to say I fucked up? Apparently, it's harder than I thought. Cowards.

I was able to talk to my gramma that day and knew that my uncle was ok. He lived in Boston and traveled a lot, so I was worried. I was unable to contact family in NYC. I knew that at least one stepsister worked down there and thought two of them did. Still no phones. I had to run a group that night, kept my phone with me, nothing. After a few days, I was able to leave a message on my stepmother's phone. No response. Over the next two weeks, I left message after message. I was in a panic. Two weeks passed and I was in a training, basic counseling skills, where you actually had to pick something out of your life and sort of get counseled or counsel someone else in the training. It was a four day training. I was at lunch on the second or third day when I finally heard from her. You can't imagine the relief. She had been in Long Island and hadn't gotten my messages.

What I found out later was that my stepsister worked in building number 7, at least I think that's what it was, it was the one that collapsed later that day. She was coming off the subway when a plane hit. She had to work in New Jersey for several months and eventually quit working in the financial industry I think partly because of what happened. Six months before September 11th she had an interview at Canter Fitzgerald. She didn't get the job, didn't want it, but thank god she didn't. My stepmother lost several friends in the attack.

I also have to say that I can't stay for it to be called 9-11. It drives me crazy. I'm not sure why.

I just can't believe that it's been five years. Will the heart-break go away? I don't think it ever will, and don't think it should for that matter.

The Joy of College Football

2006-09-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

You might think this post is going to be about cheering on my favorite team, the Michigan Wolverines, but it's not. It's about my love for cheering against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. I am not sure why they get exclusive rights on NBC every year, but it does give me the opportunity to root against them every week. After watching them almost lose last week to Georgia Tech, I look forward to them playing Penn. State today. That will be fun...but the most fun game every year is watching them play Boston College. It seems that even when BC isn't good, they always manage to beat the Irish. That makes me happy.

There are a few teams that I just hate. I hate Nebraska and Colorado. But I think I would cheer for them over the Irish any day of the week and twice on Saturday. HA!

I've been to Notre Dame. We played there in college. Although we didn't actually play them there. Not sure why. We beat them 3-0 my freshman year on our field. I've seen touchdown Jesus. I was there when they were playing Stanford in football. We had to stay in Michigan because there were no close hotels due to the game. What a pain in the ass!

Let's give three cheers for everyone who plays Notre Dame this year!

Going back to Dall-y

2006-09-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I've just put my house on the market and am making plans to move back to Dallas. The economy here sucks and its' just time to go. I will stay with my folks until I can get a job and get back on my feet. I am feeling good about my decision. I'll keep you posted on the plans as they unfold.

What a bastard!

2006-08-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

You aren't going to believe how low some people can go...

I got an email from a friend of mine the other day. He has a new job and sent me a random email. I hadn't heard from him since September. I was laid off from my job in October and I sent him an email telling him and that I would be in Dallas for a week for a visit. I never heard from him. I figured that maybe his new wife didn't want him to talk to me. That didn't make sense to me since I had met her and we got along very well. Then I thought maybe my ex did something, wish I had thought of it before.

I've known Brian since childhood, we went to the same babysitter. He got in touch with me again about 8-9 years ago and we've been friend's since. There has never been any kind of romantic relationship, I never liked him that way. Anyway, I started dating my ex and he forbid me to see this friend of mine because he was a guy. I went for a visit a few years ago and I had to promise not to see him. Well, fuck that, I saw him anyway. My brother and I had dinner with him and I had lunch with Brian on my own. He actually met Stacey his wife while I was visiting. It was so great to see him so happy after such a long time. He's a fantastic guy. Brian and Stacey got married last year.

So, this gets us back to the here and now. I get this email from Brian stating that he kept emailing me and emailing me and I never responded. Well, today I went and looked at my blocked list in my email and low and behold, there was his name! Can you believe that? That fucker(my ex) added my friend, one of my few very good friends, to my blocked list so I could no longer talk to him. I wish I had thought of this months ago. It would have saved a lot of pain and heartache. I am sure I mentioned this on a previous blog. It really hurt my feelings and I was blaming Brian and even Stacey.

It was great to go to New York and spend time with my family who didn't like my ex either. I mean, they really didn't like him. Hell, I never really liked the guy either. I wasn't attracted to him, and his negative, controlling behavior made him impossible to be around. Amazing how someone can make you feel so low and think you don't deserve any better. Well, now I know. I feel better than ever. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life then be controlled by someone like him again.

Ahhh, freedom.

Back from New York

2006-08-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

I am quite sure that most didn't notice I was gone, but alas I am back now. I had a good time. Saw The Color Purple with a childhood friend of mine which was spectacular. I met Broadway star Alan Cumming at a party. He was quite nice. Isabella Rosselini didn't show. He was most certainly more interested in a guy that I had made friends with but I won't hold that against him. While eating ice cream near Time Square, Fisher Stevens walked by. I did just about everything I wanted but did not make it to Top of the Rock. I did the NBC studio tour, SNL studio is very small. On TV its smoke and mirrors. I went by the courthouse, and it was as big as it appears on Law & Order. Lady Liberty and Ellis Island still look the same. I got to spend some time with my cousin in Brooklyn which was nice and lazed by the pool in Long Island for a few days as well.

Anyway, good to be back, I think all of my animals missed me. They all followed me around when I got home on Saturday night.

I'm in love!

2006-08-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. I am in love again. He's a nice, young man. Really, I wasn't looking for love, but there he was. He just had something about him that I couldn't pass up. Could it be the blue eyes? Could it be his softness? I think we can blame it on my mother. Yes, I said my mother. See the thing is, she is in love with him too. In fact, she wanted him all to herself. She wanted to take him home with her today and we don't even want to mention how my stepdad would feel about that. And boy is he gorgeous. I have not had a good looking guy in my life in a long time, and he doesn't know how good looking he is.

Ok, ok, he's only two and a half months old and well, he is a cat. The thing is I can see a kitten somewhere and think they are cute but this one, he brought me back. I actually left and came back. I couldn't leave him. He had to be a part of my family. I don't regret my decision. He's a sweet, loving boy. I love him so much already. Who knew? I sure didn't. Blame it on mom!

He's a chocolate point siamese mix. That means he is a little fatter than a regular siamese but he has the coloring. If I knew how to publish a picture, I would on here, once my mom sends the pics she took. So far his name is O'Malley.I am not sure it works but like it. Any suggestions?

Can you believe it?

2006-08-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

Right before I get ready to go on a long airplane ride across these United States, the damned terrorists decide to mess things up. It is a bit worrying since I am going to be flying into JFK there then La Guardia on the way back. I don't think they will try to blow up any mormons flying in and out of SLC. Yes, I am flying all the way down to Salt Lake to catch a plane east. Now I have to worry about what I can take on the airplane with me and what I can't. I will need my game boy in order to make me not lose it on the second leg of my trip. Hopefully Delta will play a movie since I already have their headphones. I also bought Craig Ferguson's book for the trip. If I can only take a purse, I am going to have a hard time fitting things since I usually take a backpack. I won't be able to take my book with me since it's hard cover and will not fit in my purse. Fortunately my mother will be heading out of here on Sunday and that will help me know what I can do on Monday.

Oh, and by the way...If you ever come to Oregon, you HAVE to go to Crater Lake. It is incredible!

Ain't life grand?

2006-08-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

You know, I am feeling pretty happy these days. No, I still don't have any friends and have no social life to speak of. I haven't even started my new job. The last two days, I have had an almost non-stop smile on my face. I think it has to do a lot with the fact that my mom is coming for a visit tomorrow. I am looking forward to seeing more of Oregon with my family and I think we will really have a good time together.

I am feeling happy about my upcoming visit to New York. I still have no idea what I am going to do there other than the people I am going to do things with. I have been a few times and did everything I wanted to do last time I was there so what shall I do this time? I don't know.

I think the main reason for my happiness is that I am free. I am totally free to be me. I have control over my life. Little things happen every day that I think I am so glad he's not in my life anymore because I would not be allowed to do it. His mother and stepdad called me the other day and they miss me. I had not talked to them since he sent me a nasty email telling me to stay away from them because I am basically using them which is far from the truth. He had even FORBID them from talking to me. HA! I actually really like them and enjoyed spending time with them. I plan on continuing to see them.

The only thing that makes me unhappy is that I think of all of the wasted time and heartache when I didn't need to go through that. But, you know what? I don't have to deal with it anymore. I am not stupid, an idiot, a whore, a fat cow, a sheep...I don't have to hear those things being said to me anymore. I can feel happy, positive and don't have anyone around to bring me down and tell me how terrible life is.

So, now what? I want to surround myself with people who are happy, have good, positive outlooks on life, and think I am a pretty ok person. It's great to feel free to be happy. I mean really, how bad could life be? I have a good family, loving animals (not that kind of love you perverts!) and I really do have a lot in my life. Why shouldn't I be happy?

Isn't technology great?!

2006-08-02T18:47:00.000-07:00

One of the best inventions in the world is the self checkout thingies at the grocery store. Yes, I know, I can hear you saying, "What? The best? I don't think so." Let me tell you why I think it's so great...

Do you ever go to the grocery store to buy something that you know is going to be soooo embarrassing? You look at all the different cashiers and think which one will embarrass me the least? Think about it. This is why it's so great to have self checkout lines. If I go to the store to buy tampons, I will not make the cashier uncomfortable and stop talking to me while ringing up my groceries. Let's not stop at tampons. How about condoms? How about yeast infection treatments? Adult diapers? Enemas? Pregnancy tests. Heck, I even hate buying toilet paper. I know, everyone pees and poops but I find it so embarrassing to buy toilet paper and think the cashier is thinking about me having to come to the grocery to buy tp. All those funny scenes in TV shows and on movies are kinda obsolete though now, aren't they? No teenage boy has to be embarrassed to buy condoms because he never even has to let anyone else know he's buying them. I don't think you have to be a certain age to buy them so it's not like the customer service person has to come over and ok you to buy condoms. And let's go back to the pregnancy tests. I mean it's one thing if you are trying to get pregnant but probably most of the women buying pregnancy tests are hoping NOT to be pregnant. And you certainly don't want a cashier asking if you are trying to have a baby if you really aren't. I could go on and on. I know, I hear you saying, "No, please, please don't."

Now, I am not saying that they always work and probably more often than not, a customer service person needs to help you because you didn't put something in your bag and not back in your cart or whatever. But, I do think its nice that if the need arises for me to buy any of these items, I don't have to be embarrassed. I just stack other groceries on top of it, make sure it's the first thing you run through. An embarrassing trip to the grocery has been averted. Isn't life grand!

Going back to work tomorrow

2006-07-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, all I have to do is two intakes if they show up and that is all the work I will have all week. But, I am concerned because my throat still hurts. I can't go into work after taking the pain medication. First, I can't drive. Second, I can't use drugs and work with addicts. I don't think that would go over too well. I am hoping to make it through the day tomorrow then spend the rest of the week resting and getting ready for a nice, long visit from my mother. I hope to be feeling better by then so we can actually go do things. I can't play soccer until Sunday and hope to feel up to it by then. Now I know why I am suposed to lay off the physical activity for two weeks. I got a second Rx for pain meds that is almost gone. I am not abusing it but worry that if I need more that I may look like an addict myself. I am trying not to use it but that only lasts for so long. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and feel a lot better and I have nothing to worry about. It could happen.

Alive and Kicking

2006-07-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to do a short post letting everyone, or the five people who read my blog, that I am alive. HA! I have been spending most of my time sleeping these days. I wake up for an hour and go back to sleep. I have done surprisingly well and was talking in the recovery room. Thanks to all of you that thought happy thoughts for me and sent the good, healing vibes, they are helping. I will try to post more soon, but it's just really too much of an effort at this point. I think I am doing quite well, thanks for asking!

Not sure when I'll post again

2006-07-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

Have my surgery tomorrow, will post when I can.

Wouldn't it be cool?

2006-07-17T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and thought I'd do a nice, short blog about it. I am not an actor, and don't really have ambitions to become one. But I really want to play a dead body on Law & Order. Wouldn't that be so much fun? Then, for the rest of your life, you can tell people that. I think I'd make a great dead body. I often wonder how they are able to stay still for long periods of time. I secretly want to get discovered in New York when I am there and they offer me a dead body role on the show. You never know, it could happen.

The Saga that is Barry Bonds

2006-07-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

Seems like every day there is some new story about Barry and his alleged steroid use. There is always someone new in his circle or used to be in his circle that is admitting to use or won't say a word. Don't you think that if this many people keep coming forward or refuse to testify there has to be something to it? Funny though, other players are being left alone. So, why Barry? Why is he getting "picked" on? I think it has something to do with him being an asshole. I have never heard anyone say anything different than this guy is a total jerk. Maybe you can get away with treating people like shit if you have no skeletons like this in your closet. But maybe that's not it? Maybe his use was so out in the open that you can't help but find someone who will talk that was merely a stone's throw away.

So, what happens if he has been using? I think he would have to be removed from the record books and not just given an asterisk. I mean, if he's cheating, then why would he even get his name anywhere near them? And, if all this is going on, why is he being allowed to play? If you were accused of using drugs at work, you would not be allowed to continue working, I don't think. You'd be investigated. You wouldn't be paid.

I guess I just don't get steroids. I think I would feel way too guilty to enjoy it knowing that I was cheating. I really just want the whole damn thing to end. Either he stays or goes, cheated or didn't, but make some sort of decision. And if he did, don't let him keep playing. That is just ridiculous!

Starting to get nervous!

2006-07-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

My surgery is coming up pretty quickly now. I wasn't nervous about it before, but lying in bed on Sunday night attempting to sleep, I started to worry. What happens if I don't make it? Yes, I know, it's not a very serious surgery, but it is still surgery and some people actually die from it. I started to worry about my animals and who will take care of them. I want them all to be able to stay together.

So, for the last two nights, I haven't been able to sleep. It's driving me crazy! I have to go to the hospital this Friday for the pre-op stuff. I think I have everything in order that needs to be at this point. I will buy all the stuff I will be able to eat next week before the surgery. I am sure there is more I am worrying about but can't think of it now, too tired.

Going to NYC!

2006-07-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

I will be NYC from August 14 to the 26th! Anyone want to meet me there?

Happy Birthday, Chevy!

2006-07-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today is my dog's 7th birthday! Just thought I'd give someone an opportunity to say happy birthday to her. Oh, btw, her name is Chevy like Chevy Chase, not the car. That would make me a red neck wouldn't it?

Good bye, Stevie Y

2006-07-03T23:49:00.000-07:00

Today, as expected, Steve Yzerman retired. This makes me incredibly sad because he is my absolute favorite hockey player of all time. He was not able to play all that much this year, but I was still hopeful that he would push it just one more year. I don't think there has been a better leader on the ice and he will be sorely missed. I wonder if Shanny will be made captain? How can you replace a man like that on your team? I don't think you can. Maybe he'll still manage to be around the game so I can get a look at him every once in a while. I can only hope.

They're coming out

2006-07-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

Finally got to see the doc this week and my tonsils are coming out. My surgery is scheduled for July 21st in the morning. I am going to have to pay out of pocket since I don't have any insurance at this time. I will have to take a week off of work and two weeks off of soccer. I don't like missing games but I want to start feeling better. I guess its more serious for adults to get them out then it is for kids, but I think it will be fine. My doctor seems really nice. I wonder how he decided to become an ear, nose and throat doctor. Kind of a weird dream I think, to become and ENT doc. Anyway, just wanted to update my health stuff. Wish me luck!

People are interesting

2006-06-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

In the field I work in I tend to meet a lot of very interesting people. I get to meet people who aren't necessarily having the best day of their lives. More often than not, depending on what they are seeing me for DUII, possession of meth or maybe they had their kids removed, they are pretty nice and friendly. I have met and on occasion get to know people I would not necessarily have ever met, but I consider this a blessing. I met a woman today that was very friendly and not all together there. She was drinking while pregnant, and not just drinking, drinking, I mean she was drinking. But she was one of the most friendly clients I have ever had. All she has to do is complete our little program and will get her daughter back.

While I was finishing time with my last client of the day, there was someone talking to the secretary at the desk. I noticed that this was obviously a man dressed as a woman. We had a short conversation and she was also very friendly. The day I had was full of friendly people. Anyway, so I am talking to the secretary about Robert aka Monica, and let the counselor who was scheduled to do her intake in a few weeks. He got a little upset and said that he was prejudice against transgendered people and when I asked him if he thought being gay or transgendered was biological or a choice, he said that he believed it was a choice. I had to walk away at that point. I guess I just don't figure that people in my line of work would think this way. He said that he would not put this person in his group and is even trying to pass the intake off to the clinical supervisor stating that someone who is transgendered would have more emotional problems then let's say just some regular Joe off the street who is there for a DUII. Isn't that judgmental? Oh, she must have more emotional problems because she is a man living as a woman? I don't get that. I offered to do the intake and that was kind of brushed off. Hell, she was really cool and I would have loved to get the chance to learn about her. Help her enter the program as easy as possible just like I try to do with all my clients. I didn't think we were supposed to judge someone, I don't remember that being in the job description. I have noticed on more than one occasion that this coworker is rather judgmental so why does this bother me so much?

I just think that people in our line of work need to be accepting. I just can't imagine how hard it would be to have some of the clients we have and to be thinking this way. Anyway, just bugging me now that I am home.

Job on hold.

2006-06-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

Last November I was offered this great job, and was told I didn't need to keep looking for work. The place I am scheduled to start working at is called Rainrock. Here's the site www.rainrock.org. Anyway, it was supposed to open in March. Here I sit in June and it has not opened yet. Sigh. I am so ready to have a regular schedule and start my new job, meet some new people, and start to feel normal again. I received an email saying, we still don't have any progress on the licensing but we have several people working on it. Could be done in a week, could be months. I am still getting hours at my old job but it hasn't been enough to pay all my bills and the money I got from the sale of my house is starting to run out.

I am just looking for some good vibes sent the way of the State of Oregon to approve the license so we can get to work and start trying to make a difference in people's life. I have met the women I will be working with and they seem to be a good group. I still feel positive about this experience and know that it is going to happen exactly how it should happen. I am learning to be patient and positive. I have recently learned that I really need this. Learning to let go of things and not let things bother me that are stupid. I have responsibility in all aspects of my life.

Anyway, just wanted to update anyone who reads this, I am doing alright now. Letting go, and moving on. Feeling pretty good, I must say.

World Cup part deux

2006-06-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

I have been happy with the play of most teams I have seen. I don't like the plethora of cards that have been handed out. It's just silly. The US team was very underwhelming and frankly looked like crap. Seems to me they are trying to play the long ball version that the US women tried to play in their World Cup a few years ago. It just doesn't work. All the other teams I have watched play pass the ball around, keep possession. The US team just didn't do that. I have to put it on the coach, for not putting the right combinations on the field, choosing this style of play. Its been a very disappointing cup for us Americans, but this is nothing new. Seems to me that every other cup the US plays well then the next one they are the worst team out there. I mean how can you win games or expect to make it to the next round if you only get four shots on goal the entire tournament. I keep my hopes on England and Holland. I hope that England can get past the loss of Owen and figure out how to play 90 minutes and not just the first 45. Robben had a great first game and maybe he'll try to use his teammates more in this next round.

It's all very exciting, and I am hopeful that one of the teams I am pulling for like Ghana and Australia continue to have a great showing.

June 14, 1991

2006-06-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

This day 15 years ago my father lost his battle with alcoholism. I have been thinking about this event non-stop for the last several weeks. I don't really have all that many memories of him since I didn't spend a lot of time with him as a child. I felt that the year or so before he died I was finally getting to know him. What I do remember is this fantastic, goofy laugh he had. I can still hear it in my head but can't replicate it for the life of me. He had a fantastic smile that I still can see in a few pics I have of him. I remember how he would put his hand on the back of my neck when we were walking places.

I could go on and on about the guilt I still feel and the sadness that still exists because I don't have him in my life. What would he be like or look like today? What would our relationship be like? I thought about him really hard last night before bed and wished for him to visit me last night but if he did I don't remember. He has visited on occasion and I sure would like one now.

Anyway, I had planned on talking about the dream that started the morning of the 15th, the day I found out he had died. It just didn't seem the right way to do it. But if you think that people you love don't check up on you or make visits after they have gone, then you are missing it. Who knows, maybe he'll visit tonight. I can only hope.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!

2006-06-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

After four long years, the World Cup is back! I am setting the alarm to make sure I am up at 8:55 tomorrow morning to see the first game between Germany and Costa Rica. Yes, I have the day off and yes, I am getting up early to watch.

So, who am I going to pick to win? Well, I don't want Brazil to win because I don't like their style of play. As much as I love my country, I don't think the US will win but am hopeful they will do well. Everyone I have heard talk about it on TV is picking Germany. Other than the US, my favorite teams are Holland and England. I think I have to pick England to win because these are the guys I watch playing in the EPL week in and week out. I hope that there are some upsets and am a big fan of African style football. Who knows, maybe the Ivory Coast could make some waves behind Didier Drogba.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'll be way too excited.

Whatcha gonna do?

2006-06-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

I go through phases every couple of years where I will watch Cops. I go years without watching it and then boom, there I am looking it up on the menu to see when it will be on. I am on a Cops kick. What is it about this show that makes me want to watch it all the time? Yes, I do look to see if anyone I know is getting arresting, running from the cops, prostituting...HA! I think I am fascinated by the drug people. I am not particularly into the car chases but am interested in what happens after they are caught. Am I a complete Redneck for watching this show? It is amazing what some people will do and what lengths they will go to in order to avoid being caught.

Now, I could be wrong about this but I think that you have to sign a permission sheet in order for Cops to use your likeness on TV. So, that means that all of these idiots are just happy to get on TV? A recent episode I saw a young guy was pulled over for picking up a prostitute. The cops couldn't get any evidence to make charges stick so he wasn't charged. But that wasn't just it. The prostitute he picked up was really a man (obvious to me.) So this young kid OK'ed them showing his face picking up a "woman" to be nice and give her a ride? Most people that end up on the show sign away and have their faces showing on national TV. If I was being pulled over for something, especially what these people get pulled over for or have the cops come to their house, I would never want the world to see me on national TV. Its the same thing for the people involved in tragic things on the news, giving interviews after something horrible has happened. What is wrong with these people? I'd tell them to get the hell out of my face.

Anyway, I am back into watching this show. Sure as hell hope I don't see any of you all on there. But, please if you are going to be on, please let me know!

In honor of NWG

2006-06-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Ever meet someone that you are never at a loss for words, that you can talk for four hours straight without blinking from Orlando to Miami? Do you remember when Chevy jumped out of the back of your Explorer at the rest stop on that one between the two direction of the highway? Oh, man that scared the shit out of me.

NWG is one of those people that no matter how much time has passed or time hasn't passed at all that you find yourself sitting in a car talking at the end of the night. You have spent all evening together but there is still so much to say. She taught me how to make lasanga. I saw my beloved Dallas Stars win the cup at her place.

We always had a connection and I miss seeing and spending time with her. I think she is due for another Oregon trip.

What I remember about my days with Rockinteach

2006-06-01T02:19:00.000-07:00

This is going to be fun.

1. The wreck of the Edmund Fitgerald.
2. Do you remember you, your hubby and I going to see What Dreams May Come? We were the only three people in the theater and a couple came down and sat right next to me. I was so weirded out that I thought maybe they might be trying to poison my drink so I didn't take another sip! Haha!
3. Going over to watch must see tv before and after my games on Thursday nights.
4. I got lost trying to find the hospital where Punky was born and was in a panic because I was going to be late. I got there right before he was born.
5. Dog watching Cara and waking up in the morning with my arms wrapped around her.
6. Our last visit to Islands of Adventure.
7. Going to movies.
8. Seeing James Taylor.
9. Sunday football at your house.
10. Getting all flats!
11. You eating all my veggies out of my Chinese food.
12. Going to the Yankees game in Tampa with your dad and Jen.
13. Getting to have Jewish Christmas Eves.
14. Do you remember the fake hair?
15. Safoose!
16. She needs food, with you and Jen! I am sad to say that that plate broke.
17. Having a second extended family.
18. Radonda!
19. Your graduation day!
20. Just laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing! Good times!

VH1 Classic

2006-05-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

If you get this channel, you ought to check it out. I especially love the alternative and 80s shows. They show a lot of Psychedelic Furs and Depeche Mode videos and not always the ones they always showed back in the day. Check it out if you can...

15 years!

2006-05-29T19:50:00.000-07:00

In a few days it will be 15 years since my high school graduation. I still can't believe it! Seems to me I would have thought 15 years out of high school would have made someone very old just a few years back. Sad thing is, I don't remember what it was like to be in school or what I was like really. I remember names and faces. There was a guy that I had a huge crush on that I think about often. I had a serious boyfriend so dating other people was not acceptable, but boy do I wish I dated and did not stay with someone seriously. I have attempted to find anything on him on the internet but have never been able to find him. He is probably married with 16 kids by now. So, if anyone knows Matt Rousseau from Plano, tell him to call me. Wink, wink.
I remember parts of soccer games I played in and remember singing on the bus with my friends to and from games. Funny how things seemed so important and all back then and don't remember it now. I wish I was more like I am now. More myself, less sheep-like and a follower. But that's how things were in Plano, you were like everyone or you were crucified. Up until this day, this graduation day, my life was pretty good. Over the next few days and months my life changed drastically. Life would never be the same. I'll get to that in a later blog. Weird how things change, people change. Or maybe I am the same? Who knows?

What I remember most...

2006-05-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

I think about my grandparents that have passed away a lot. This is what I think about.

Grampa K-I remember spending time down in the basement at his work benches drawing and painting. I remember riding in his car and listening to easy listening channels. I remember that he smoked. I remember visiting him when he was dying. I remember him working on his flowers. I wish I could remember more.

Grampa W-I remember his smile. I remember that he couldn't hear a damn thing and you had to shout to talk to him. I remember the mean things he said. I remember that he was interested in everyone's ethnic background. I remember him picking up Jeffy's poop in a coffee can. I remember that he was a dirty, old man. I remember making cards for him until his 97th birthday. I remember his love of Corn Flakes and coffee cake and how worried he was that he would run out of something.

Gramma W-I remember staying up all night playing cards and talking. I remember watching Oprah at her house and hearing the original theme song coming on. I remember her polyester pant suits. I remember her saying "Be there!" when picking another card. I remember taking Jeffy for walks at night. I remember going to the pier, swimming and fishing. I remember gramma wearing a dark brown wig in the casket. I remember just being together.

I wish that I had more time with them, but am thankful that I was able to be around them a lot growing up even though they lived far away. I like remembering how excited I was to get on a plane for a visit that I couldn't sleep the night before. I just like remembering.

Relationships

2006-05-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of this for a while now, and just thought I ought to get it out of my head. When I saw the question on NWG's blog about the most recent phone call, I realized my phone never rings. I don't have any friends that I ever talk to ever. I have never had a successful relationship in my life. I don't just mean with a partner, I mean with friends as well. I have no friends left from growing up, I have no friends left from my life in Florida. There may be some who question that, but I don't think I can consider speaking to someone once or twice a year successful. I have "friends" here that I play soccer with that I get together with maybe 6 or so times a year outside of soccer. I never talk to them on the fone and email with them on occasion. When I began dating my ex, I had to give up a friendship with a guy I was very good friends with because he was a guy. I am sure that if I attempted to call him he probably wouldn't speak to me after three and a half years. My other friend that I was very close to met a girl, got married and continued to speak to me via email and I would see him in Plano when I was there. She got pregnant on their honeymoon last May and then he quit his job shortly after. I haven't heard from him since. We had been friends for a very long time and I had known him since we were kids. I think that I deserved that since I dumped my other friend. Karma. I used to talk to people online but now I can go days without anyone I know coming on if they do they never talk to me and even then I only talk to my brother. The only emails I receive are from things I have signed up for or from my mom, which is nice because I get to hear about everything that is going on at home. So, how did this happen? I can blame part of it on meeting my ex and him not allowing me to have friends, but that isn't all of it. I didn't really have friends before I met him. I lived here for a year back then and had not really made any friends. The only fone calls I receive are from my brother's family or for work.

Now, I am not begging for a fone call or someone to email me or whatever, I just don't know how or why I allowed it happen.

Tagged by NWG

2006-05-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

The Five Meme

5 items in my fridge

1. Pepsi
2. Chocolate Milk
3. Jugs of water
4. Leftovers, leftovers, leftovers
5. Nestle Crunch bar

5 items in my closet

1. Laundry basket
2. Pillow for cats
3. Humidifier
4. Shoes
5. Backpack

5 items in my car

1. CDs
2. Mud from the latest visit to the dog park
3. Tons of Chevy's hair, previous to the visit to the dog park
4. Merle and Waylon, my squirmies that I bought for my first car.
5. Workbook and papers from the last training I went to.

5 items in my purse

1. My wallet
2. Checkbook
3. Daily planner.
4. Tons of receipts that I am too lazy to throw away.
5. Aquafor for my lips.

Is there something wrong with wanting to work for a living?

2006-05-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

Really, what's wrong with that? What is wrong with wanting to have a home and nice things? I don't think I am unusual in this thing. You work in order to do things you want, buy things you want, do what you want. I enjoy having a job, and yes sometimes I don't want to be there, but for the most part, I like to work. I am getting tired of my ex telling me I am a fool for being a slave to work, and now somehow he thinks he ended the relationship. Well, maybe he did actually. He was a jealous, controlling, prick. He hounded me for months about selling our house so he could get his teeth fixed and help out his mother which he has done neither. I told him I had enough and it was over. FREEDOM! I finally had enough, and when I found out that I could afford my own home on my own, I was ecstatic. So, here we are months later and I have never been happier. I can play all the soccer I want, with whomever I want. I can be around men and not be constantly accused of everything. I am in control of my own life finally.

So, why am I posting about this now? He wanted to keep in touch, wanted to remain friends, but keeps hounding me about us getting back together. I am sure I was pretty clear on why I broke up with him. Every time we talk, I tell him about the things that he did and why I don't want to be with him. Not only did I have to live with him for a period of time after we broke up, now we are still fighting. My brother doesn't understand why we are still talking, and you know I don't either.

I got this email today from him.

It sounds like your job start date keeps getting pushed back. I know I'm not as mature as you and
I have trouble wishing you luck with the job. I'm just being honest. I feel resentment still
because I wanted our lives to change together, not seperately. In my way of course. I wanted freedom
and change and you just wanted to keep slaving away for a mortgage. You don't have any ambitions to
do anything different and I couldn't live with that. You can say you broke up with me all you
want, but the truth is that I got out. And now I feel reborn again. I need that constant change to
feel alive. I feel sad about leaving you though.

And you may think that I want your job to fall through so you will want me back, blah blah. No, I
just want you to realize that you are not your job and you are not your house. And my whole
purpose in your life wasn't to help you get your own place. I sort of feel like I've been exchanged for
a fucking house. Now your whole situation depends on earning $35K per year. Maybe that's why you
were sick, because of the stress of knowing that. I just think that's no way to live. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm sure I've pissed you off again, but please stay in touch. I like you. I just hate how
we have different values.

Can you imagine being with someone who is jealous of the amount of money you make and hopes that you don't make it on your own so he can say see, told you so. I am not worried about making it on my own because I know I will. I don't need someone else to make my life complete or make me ok. Wouldn't it be easier if I could say that I was an asshole who used him and that it had nothing to do with how I was treated. I guess its just hard for him to accept any responsibility.

Anyway, just had to get that off my chest. Ahhh, feels better.

Good God Almighty!

2006-05-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

Can you believe that my beloved Detroit Tigers are in first place and have won 7 games in a row? Did I enter a parallel universe? This is Fantastic!

There has been a shift

2006-05-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

For the last few years I thought that hockey was my absolute favorite sport. As you know I play soccer and I absolutely love it, but just have felt as though hockey was more exciting to me. But, now recently I have noticed a shift. I don't always want to watch hockey even though its the playoffs. I've been on the computer and missed the first two periods of the game tonight, how lame is that. Don't get me wrong I have the game on, but I haven't really been watching it.

I realized that I always want to watch soccer. I especially can't get enough of the English Premier League. I am sad its over for the summer. I still watch MLS even though it is nowhere near as good, just can't help myself. I don't watch the Spanish, Italian or German leagues, I don't like the style of play that much. Now that World Cup is so close, I am having a hard time thinking about waiting the next few weeks for it to start.

I always want to play of course and have been playing several times a week. SOOOOOO looking forward to seeing the World Cup, SOOOOO hard to wait.

Anyway, I love hockey but I think I love soccer more.

Cut the damn things out!

2006-05-10T18:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you know this, but tonsils are supposed to shrink the older you get. At 33, my tonsils remain huge. I guess that means that they will continually get infected. Three months ago I had strep throat and last week new, fun white things started to grow again. So, I went to the doc, took a strep test, and got some antibiotics. Strep test was negative, hmmm that's interesting. Wasn't feeling better Monday, so I called and they said come in Wednesday if you aren't feeling better. I used my last pain pill on Monday night and suffered through the day yesterday. As soon as I got up this morning I called and scheduled an appointment. She gave me a strong, one-time dose of an antibiotic for free (WOOHOOO). I have no insurance and this is starting to get really expensive. Of course, I am not working full-time either now. Waiting for the new job to start, that's still up in the air. She gave me two cards for ear, nose and throat docs and took some blood for a mono test which I doubt I have since I had it as a teen. If it comes back negative, and I am not feeling better, then I need to call and set up an appointment with one of these docs. I know that I need to have the damn things yanked and I would feel great about it if I had insurance but I don't. Over the last three years I have probably seen the doc or a doc ten times for things growing on my tonsils and having a lot of pain.

I guess I will just wait for my results and hope my new job starts soon so I can get the surgery finally. I am tired of almost always having a sore throat.

What a pain in the ass!

It's going to be a great summer!

2006-05-06T13:01:00.000-07:00

There is just something so great about having two months of hockey playoffs. Although both of my teams are out, I am happily watching the other games and getting to see a few games in high definition is spectacular! But, it doesn't just stop there. The World Cup is also this summer. I have yet to see a game in high definition but the games are going to be shown that way. This is really something to look forward to. I mean really, really looking foward to. Then shortly after all this, football will start. Again, have yet to see football in HD and REALLY looking forward to that! I am going to try to make it up to Seattle for a baseball game this summer. That all depends on when my new job starts and if I have the money.

I love my new house, despite my possum situation. I think they might be leaving on their own, could just be wishful thinking. I am enjoying being single, making my own decisions, being in control instead of being controlled. I am playing soccer three times a week and having a good time. My animals are doing great, they all feel that they must lay in the middle of the bed with me in the middle of the night. Family is good. I am sick right now, but still can't help but feel happy!

Life is good!

Me Vs. the Possum Family

2006-05-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

I moved into my new house and within a day or so I noticed a posssum in my yard. After it drove my dog crazy, I had the guy who built my fence come out and look under the house. He didn't see anything but he fixed the screen under the house where we assume it was coming and going from. Two days later I see a small face under the house. I open the other screen to let it out and saw mom and baby. Actually baby sat right up next to my sliding glass door. Then, yesterday I see nothing. Chevy starts going crazy again tonight. I look under the house and see two more tiny faces. So, I open the screen and left them alone to make their way out. So, I go back and look and there is one tiny possum out eating. Damn he must have been hungry, didn't even think of leaving when he sees me. So I close the screen again. I don't know if the other one came out and is hiding or if he is still there. You wouldn't believe how much this has been stressing me out. The last thing I want is something dead under my house. On the other hand, I don't want possums living in my yard. Believe it or not they are very cute as babies. Of course they could be spreading disease all over my yard that could affect my dog. I think I am going to keep an eye on it for the rest of the evening and see if I can find that other one. If he makes it out, I hope that is it. If he doesn't, what the hell do I do? Maybe I'll call the guy tomorrow if I can't get this other one out or find it. Chevy is barking like a mad dog so that possum must be walking by. ARGH!!!

Basquiat

2006-04-23T01:08:00.000-07:00

This is what I love about having Comcast on Demand. I get to watch movies that I have been interested in seeing over the years but just never do. I was not really aware of what the movie was about, but something about it interested me. I think maybe I thought it was about some political revolutionary, I don't know. So I see it listed tonight when I am sitting here trying to find something to do with my time. Hmm, Andy Warhol, well maybe this is interesting. Then I see that the movie has Jeffrey Wright in it. Now, wait a minute...isn't he that guy who was in Syriana that I was thinking who is this guy and why haven't I seen him before. The credits begin to roll and it has a ton of actors that I really like...Willem Defoe, Christopher Walken, Gary Oldman, Parker Posey, and Benicio del Toro. You know Benecio was in all these movies before I ever knew who he was too and its fun to go back and watch them and say hey look who that is. Oh, yeah and David Bowie plays Andy Warhol. So back to Jeffrey Wright. I think he is absolutely amazing in this movie. Why is this guy not in more stuff? What has he been in before? After enjoying the movie I looked him up on my bible aka imdb.com. He was in Lackawanna Blues with S. Epatha Merkerson from Law & Order and boy was that a great movie. She won both and Emmy and a golden globe for it. I hope that Jeffrey Wright gets more noticeable roles in some movies that I will get to see because just in the few movies I have seen him in he leaves an impression.

Anyway, my point of this is see this movie if you get the chance. It is really worth the time.

Singin' and Dancin'

2006-04-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I am a sucker for any movie that has singing or dancing or both. I can enjoy just about any movie as long as there is either. I even like that movie You Got Served. I was watching that movie Shall We dance? yesterday. Can't say its a great movie but Stanley Tucci's part is worth watching more. I wish they showed more good dancing in it. Anyway, I find myself stopping on Dirty Dancing as I pass by it ever couple of months and I usually stop to watch some of it. I love the end part where he is dancing with his friends coming up the aisle, I just think that is just the coolest. So, if I like dancing and singing so much, why don't I watch those shows on TV? I guess I just like the story with it, without all the stupid drama. One of my favorite movies is Moulin Rouge, now that's good singin' and dancin'! The part in the Color Purple when Shug hears the singing at the church and starts singing on her way there. Man, that part kills me every time.

There are so many movies and I don't feel like typing all of them out. I just like singin' and dancin'...

Tom Cruise

2006-04-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

Why didn't Tom Cruise name his new baby a Scientology name?

Hockey Playoffs

2006-04-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

Hockey playoffs are coming this weekend! I am very excited and it looks like NBC and OLN will be showing all the games for what I can tell. I am hoping that they will show some of the games in HD because now that I have HD its hard to watch it on regular television. Of course I am cheering for my Redwings and Stars and will be forced to choose my beloved Redwings should they meet in the conference semifinals. Steve Yzerman is resting the last few games of the season and I would love for him to get one last cup before he retires. Oh, man, do I love him. Sorry, just had to say that.

I'm back...

2006-04-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

After a whirlwind of activities, I have arrived back home. Boy am I tired! I could list all the things we did but you would never believe me. No way could all that be accomplished in just 9 days!

I arrived home to a great birthday present! I was very excited to open it and I wasn't disappointed! I posted earlier about how much I love getting mail, and I wasn't disappointed with the amount of mail when I got home.

Now I am trying to readjust my sleeping schedule, plus my cats like to start playing at 4 am. The first night I suffered through it, the second night I shut them out of my room.

Ugh, and I have to go back to work tomorrow. Sigh...

Leaving... on a jet plane!

2006-04-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

I do know when I will be back again. I am taking my niece Emmy on vacation to Dallas tomorrow. We have a ton of stuff planned and it should be a lot of fun. Look out Taco Bueno, here I come!

Spellbound

2006-04-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the documentary Spellbound on IFC. It's about the 1999 National Spelling Bee and focuses on 8 different contestants who range from ages 10-12 or somewhere around there. It is amazing the pressure that these kids are under. Although I played sports my whole life, and there was always pressure, it doesn't seem to me that it was that concentrated. You were never on a stage with people staring at you trying to come up with the correct spelling. You run around playing and I don't think there were many moments where it was up to me or my team would lose. Now, I have been the one to make the mistake and not finish the winning goal, but there were millions, yes millions, of times that I was the one to score that winning goal. One thing that is different, I think, is that you run around getting warmed up and are usually ready to act when need be.

I guess maybe you can liken it to penalty kicks at the end of the game, and I remember a handful of those occasions in my lifetime. I've actually probably missed more than I've made. I wonder if those children feel the same pressure as an athlete or if its something completely different.

It all brings me back to my class spelling bee when I was in fifth grade. You have those moments in life that you can't figure out why the hell you remember it? Well, I remember this one. I am not sure if I was a good speller back then but probably wasn't, I have never been a very good student. So, I have this memory of being in front of my class, because everyone had to participate, otherwise you can bet I would never have volunteered for it. It seems silly that I didn't know this word back then. I don't recall if I ever knew what it was at the time. Anyway, it was HOAX. And of course I missed it. Not sure how I attempted to spell it, but I missed it for sure. Now, why do I remember this? I have no clue. It wasn't one of those experiences where you kick yourself for not doing something right or doing something wrong. Why do I think of this every once in a while? It's all a big mystery but I tell you what, I think I am a pretty decent speller now.

The best character actors.

2006-03-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

I was just watching that new VW commercial with Peter Stormare in it and I was thinking how great of a character actor he is. So now I am sitting here trying to think of some more. I really like Alfred Molina and of course Christopher Walken who just might be the best. James Rebhorn and Philip Bosco, both of whom have been on episodes of Law & Order amongst other things. I also like Dylan Baker. He's been on episodes of Law & Order too. Ok, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Any others that I have missed?

Love Monkey on VH1

2006-03-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

I hear that Love Monkey will be shown on VH1 beginning with the original episodes to be followed by the five unaired ones. Also Tom Cavanagh is working on a new pilot for a half-hour sitcom.

Today is the day.

2006-03-27T11:24:00.000-08:00

Well, today is finally the day. I have been surprisingly sad but I think its more like I feel sad for my dog who will be sad. And I know that he is very sad to leave her too. I don't know how I am going to feel when I go home tonight after work. I know my house isn't going to be empty because I have Chevy, Carlin and Kennedy but it's going to be different. I just hope that I will be able to sleep tonight. I tend to get a little scared sleeping in a house alone.

Recurring Dreams

2006-03-25T18:45:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have recurring dreams? For several years I had two recurring dreams. One dream, and probably the most frequent, I am trying to get ready to play soccer. I am late, trying to put on my gear and I just can't seem to get ready on time. I used to never get to play in my dreams but it has evolved and sometimes I do get to play. In the second dream there has been some new rule that allows me to go back and play high school soccer. Can you imagine a 33 year old woman going back and playing high school? I guess I have that one because we lost in the state championship game and maybe I have this dream because it left me unfulfilled. I don't know.

Over the past few years a third dream has eclipsed the other two. I have a dream where my car is stolen. Not only is my car stolen but at times its my third car that has been stolen. Most of the time a car I have never owned is the one stolen and a few times it has been cars that I have actually owned. I can't figure this one out. I am not worried about my car being stolen and don't give it any thought unless I have this dream. Can you even imagine if you had several cars stolen and each time you get a new one, they steal that one too. I would really like to figure this one out. It has me quite perplexed.

Will I ever not like getting mail?

2006-03-22T19:39:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about this on my way home today. I get really excited to get the mail every day. I go to the box daily with hopes of something special to be in there. I guess it is years of monthly checks from my gramma but I think its more than that. Now that I have moved into my new place I have noticed that my mail comes very early in the day. A lot of the time it's here before 10 am which I find to be most exciting. When there is no mail in the box in the morning, I go check it several times a day in hopes of finding something eventually. It's funny, I don't care if I get a bill or a crappy advertisement, I just am happy that there was something there.

I started to think or my mom picking up the mail every day and trying to picture what I remember her looking like. She doesn 't seem to like it as much as I do. Maybe she has more bills and doesn't get as many special things as I do. I don't know, but maybe the older I get the less excited I will become.

Maybe I ought to start sending letters like I used to before email. I might get more letters in my mail box. Might be worth it...

What the !@*#?

2006-03-19T00:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry but I am very unhappy. How the hell am I supposed to cheer for the boil on the ass of the entire NFL? It's not like I can change teams and start following another team after 30 years?! I have no idea what the fuck Parcells is thinking or not thinking in this case. This is just ridiculous!

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all be just a big, bad, terrible dream. I'll wake up and T.O. will be gone. He'll be out of my life forever. That piece of shit, good for nothing, uhhh piece of shit.

I guess the only bright side to this is that Parcells won't take his shit. If he fucks around, he'll be out on his ass. Let's just hope he has learned his lesson and will keep his big, fat, stupid mouth shut.

Unbelievable.

12 Days and Counting...

2006-03-15T13:38:00.000-08:00

12 more days. 12 long days. 12 days until I am free!

Not that I am counting!

Living in small town America

2006-03-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

You might not think that a town of 100,000 people is small but I sure do. Its the smallest town I have ever lived in. What I like about it is that I see all sorts of people on TV everywhere. I have played soccer against several of our TV news people. I see them at kid's soccer games, at the post office, or just on the street walking around. I like living in an actual community where I can go to a Democratic Party event and stand next to our senators and the mayor. I have actually seen both mayors of Springfield and Eugene eating out at restaurants. I think people in this small community are invested in the community and yes they sometimes overdo it, but that is the nature of this area. You can see a protest at the court house any day of the week. Parades/protests during the summer going by Saturday Market. I actually run into people I know all over the place. I like that, never had that before.

I really like living here. As if you couldn't tell.

What a good birthday!

2006-03-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

For my birthday I went down to the local humane society and adopted another cat. She is a tiny 7 month old kitty who has gray stripes. She is beautiful! She is not sure about my dog and my other cat isn't so sure about her. I am sure they will get used to each other soon enough. She is very friendly and affectionate and I look forward to years of love and affection!

I decided to name her Kennedy. Tiger cats were 50% off this month. Kennedy is on the fifty sent piece. So I thought, I'll name her Kennedy after that.

There is just something about George Clooney

2006-03-01T15:42:00.000-08:00

I have never noticed what George has in anyone else. He just seems to have sex pouring out of his pores and doesn't even have to try. He just seems to ooze well, I don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong, I have known people that draw you in, but nowhere near this amount. He doesn't even make my top five list but everytime I see him in an interview there is this unbelievable charm in him. He doesn't even have to try, its just there. I am not explaining this well but he just makes me stop what I am doing when I see him.

I am just curious A. If you have noticed this. B. Is there anyone else out there that has this? C. Where can I find him?

If I were picking the winners II

2006-02-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

I did this last year and have been planning on posting it again this year. With my upcoming move and everything else going on, I have not see all of the movies I had planned on seeing. I have to say I have seen most and still might see them before Sunday, time permitting. I saw a lot of very good movies this year and this is who I would choose if I were picking. I am going to be picking from movies I have never seen, but that never gets in my way.

The 78th Annual Academy Awards
ACTOR -- LEADING
Philip Seymour Hoffman - CAPOTE ***
Terrence Howard - HUSTLE & FLOW
Heath Ledger - BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Joaquin Phoenix - WALK THE LINE
David Strathairn - GOOD NIGHT,
AND GOOD LUCK.

I think he was absolutely amazing in this role. He should win. I was very impressed with Terrence Howard in Hustle and Flow and would highly recommend this movie. David Strathairn is also amazing. I think Heath was good but kind of annoying and did not see Walk the Line.

ACTOR -- SUPPORTING
George Clooney - SYRIANA
Matt Dillon - CRASH
Paul Giamatti - CINDERELLA MAN ***
Jake Gyllenhaal -
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
William Hurt - A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

I saw all the movies in this category. I think George was ok, but not spectacular. Matt Dillon was very good in Crash. Jake was much better than Heath. I loved William Hurt in this role and would be very happy if he won. But my money is on Paul. He was that character.

ACTRESS -- LEADING
Judi Dench -
MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS
Felicity Huffman - TRANSAMERICA ***
Keira Knightley - PRIDE & PREJUDICE
Charlize Theron - NORTH COUNTRY
Reese Witherspoon - WALK THE LINE

I haven't seen any of these movies but I am going with Felicity. Looked like a very challenging role, plus she is married to William H. Macy!

ACTRESS -- SUPPORTING
Amy Adams - JUNEBUG
Catherine Keener - CAPOTE
Frances McDormand - NORTH COUNTRY ***
Rachel Weisz -
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
Michelle Williams -
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
ANIMATED FEATURE

Liked Junebug and she was good. Catherine was good. Rachel was good with my Ralph. Michelle was good also. I have not seen North Country but I just have a feeling about Frances, she is an amazing actress.

DIRECTING
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
CAPOTE
CRASH
GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. ***
MUNICH

I saw all but Munich which I had planned on seeing but didn't get the chance. I loved Good Night...

ORIGINAL SONG
"In the Deep" - CRASH
"It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp" -
HUSTLE & FLOW ***
"Travelin’ Thru" - TRANSAMERICA

I really liked the song!

BEST PICTURE
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
CAPOTE
CRASH
GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. ***
MUNICH

I loved this movie.

If I see any other movies before Sunday, I might change my post.

Why I love hockey...

2006-02-26T14:04:00.000-08:00

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching Olympic hockey again during the last two weeks. It has been more fun than I ever imagine! I have been watching games and realize one player or another is on my fantasy hockey team or better yet plays for my beloved Red Wings. The US lost but that wasn't the end of it. I still got to watch players I have loved forever and newer players play for their countries. I think its hard most of the time to think that they are not all American. The really do come from far away to play here. I had a player on every single game I watched. It made me feel proud to have selected so many players who played for their countries in the Olympics.

I couldn't have been more proud to see Sweden win today. I felt like it was my big win, my country won the gold. Four team members play for the Red Wings. The goalie is on my fantasy team. I can just imagine the other Red Wings players watching the game at home and feeling like they were somewhat a part of that win today. They must be so proud.

Congrats to Lidstrom, Zetterberg, Samuelsson, Kronwall and Holmstrom. I don't think I could have been any more proud if the US had won!

Out of curiousity...

2006-02-22T18:25:00.000-08:00

Does anyone actually read my blog? Other than the one person I know who does? Anyone out there?

Five years ago this month...

2006-02-21T17:13:00.000-08:00

Five years ago this month I got really sick with Strep throat. It could have been all the stress about planning my move to Oregon and not taking very good care of myself. So, I again find myself in the same boat. Although my throat doesn't hurt quite as bad as it did then (I am still in pain though), the other symptoms are worse. I am absolutely exhausted even after just getting up. The Strep did not respond to regular penicillin and I had to get a stronger antibiotic that cost $40 more. Ugh, I don't have insurance. There is a chance that I have Mono again but they can't test me for it since I had it in high school. Once you get it you are positive for it for life. I am hoping that tomorrow when I wake up, I will be feeling more like myself. I am actually sitting here trying to work for the first time and I am sweating profusely. Now, for the one person who knows me and the one who actually reads my blog knows that I am a very warm person to begin with, this is actually very uncomfortable.

I think that was a ramble. Anyway, send out some healthy vibes my way.

SSI in America today.

2006-02-15T18:09:00.000-08:00

I met with a client yesterday who is on SSI due to mental health issues. She is 27 years old, lives with her mother and stepfather who both work, and receives $1000 a month. I have also been told that since her mother is her caregiver, she receives money on top of the $1000. Does it make me a bad person that this pisses me off?

Many people slave away working for years upon years and when it is time to retire receive less money than this girl does. This girl has to pay no bills, has no car, and has no house payment. Why is it that this is fair? I just don't get it. I could understand her receiving that amount of money if she was living on her own but there are three incomes in the household and she will live there until she dies. Oh, and she gets Medicaid for being poor? How is she poor? We had another client before who was in his 40s and was receiving $2500 a month. He was fully functional and spent his money doing methamphetamine. Who receives $2500 a month in SSI?

Yes, I know how hard it is to collect SSI and it can take several attempts to get it, but come on people. Does this seem fair?

Let it SNOW!

2006-02-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning to snow on the ground. 30 minutes later it was gone. Then, out of the sky came big, fat snowflakes. It snowed for about 30 minutes and started to collect and then was gone. They say we have a chance for more on Friday. I hope that is the case! I love the SNOW!

Can you believe it?

2006-02-12T13:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever said to yourself, damn I am glad I went to eat fast food?

Well, for the first time, I am saying that today. I went to Jack in the Box for some stuffed jalapenos. I got home and was in the middle of eating when my phone rang. It was my credit union. Turns out, I was actually in Spain trying to withdraw cash on my ATM card. Thank god it was turned down because they did not have my pin number. Of course, I have to go to my bank tomorrow to see what else they did and if they were able to use it at all. I will be able to dispute the charges. I will get the money back. But can you imagine if I was actually able to resist those peppers? My card would still be active and they would be having some serious fun on it. They wouldn't have gotten very far, I don't have the much money but I do have $1500 in overdraft protection that they could have used. I have always liked using the credit union and am so grateful that they were so quickly onto it. I think the guy mentioned some charges in San Diego but I am not sure.

Anyway, just wanted everyone to be aware of their card number out there because nowadays they can actually make a fake card with your numbers on it. I check my account online several times a day just to make sure and keep on top of how much I am spending because I don't keep track of it. Be careful out there. Fucking losers everywhere!

Found a house, got an offer...

2006-02-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

I found a house and my offer was accepted last week. We had a bid on our house and we accepted. Since the lot size is so small, the whole deal hitches on the inspection of the garage where the couple plans to build a garden on top of. They have five days to do that, and then its hopefully a go. We accepted a much lower offer but will still get good money out of it. We just want to get out of the house. Its hard to still live with someone you are breaking up with. So hopefully this time next month I will be in my new house!

House is on the market

2006-01-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

We put the house on the market last week. Two people have already looked and have a third coming today. We have our open house this weekend. I am looking for a new house or may end up in a condo. Just have to find just the right place for me, Chevy and Carlin. I love looking at houses, and I must say this whole selling the house thing is kind of exciting. Keep your fingers crossed!

I am in love with Craig Ferguson!

2006-01-11T14:14:00.000-08:00

If you haven't had a chance to catch his show, you are missing out! He does these great 15-20 minute monologue where he just tells stories. Its not just joke after joke. He even sings his own catchy theme song! I know that most of you have jobs that require you to get up in the morning, so watch him on a Friday. I am going to miss him when I go back to working full-time!